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I have you at my disposal?
Of course, I repeated, though this time I sounded less certain. What will I have to do?
She tossed her hair and gave a thoroughly European shrug. Maybe nothing.
As she passed Cyrus she paused to give his near nakedness an appreciative once-over. Then she took
the keys from the hook on the wall and left.
Don t you have any clothes? Max growled.
An antagonistic grin twisted Cyrus s mouth. They are, unfortunately, the same ones I ve been wearing
for nearly a week now.
I ll loan you some of mine. And keep them on. Max shoved past us and went to the foot of the couch,
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where his duffel bag lay open. He pulled out a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and tossed them to Cyrus. With
an angry glare my way he added, I m going to go feed Nathan.
Stay away from my girl, Cyrus muttered in an exaggerated American accent when Max emerged from
the kitchen and stalked down the hall.
Leave him alone. He s kind of having a rough time. I turned my back as Cyrus let the towel drop.
He d been naked in the desert, but those were extenuating circumstances. I didn t need to see it every
chance I got.
Having a rough time? Is that emblazoned on some twisted family crest you people wear? His words
were muffled, indicating the shirt was going over his head.
I turned in time to see him hitch the jeans up his hips. They were at least an inch too big around the
waist.
The way you people are intermittently feeding me, my weight won t be a problem, he quipped.
I m sorry. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. If there was anything in the kitchen. I hadn t even
looked since returning home. Funny, that when I was a human woman food had seemed to dominate
every facet of my life. Was I eating too much? How many calories were in that slice of pizza? Were eggs
good or bad that particular week? Now that I was a vampire, the necessity for food had completely
slipped my mind.
Not the enjoyment of it, though. Nathan kept a huge stock of junk food. I looked forward to the nights
the supply seemed to be waning, as it often resulted in a manic trip to the twenty-four-hour grocery store.
We d load up on all the bad-for-humans treats we could find, from Doritos to birthday cake, head back
to the apartment, snack ourselves into a sugar coma and fall asleep watching videos. Nathan preferred
war movies and intense psychological dramas. I always voted for romantic comedies or historical movies
with sumptuous costumes. Inevitably, our disagreement would be settled with a screwball comedy like
Young Frankenstein or Half Baked.
He s going to be all right, you know, Cyrus said, interrupting my reverie. With an apologetic smile, he
added, You had that look.
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What look? It seemed too intimate, too soon for him to be able to read my thoughts from my facial
expression. Part of me didn t want to give him that power. The same part worried that if Cyrus knew
how important Nathan was to me, it would give him ammunition to hurt me. In my logical mind I
recognized the changes in him, but my emotions still lived in a place where Cyrus was my manipulative
sire.
You have a look when you re thinking of him. It used to drive me crazy. What began as a smile on his
face faded to a tight grimace of regret. As if he could still read my thoughts maybe he could Cyrus
said quietly, What would yours be? If the spell had been cast on you? That s all I could think of, when I
realized what had happened. What if my father had put that spell on me?
My parents? I laughed at how absurdly human that seemed now, compared to all the hell I d faced
since. Or you. I don t know.
Me? He didn t sound at all surprised. When I first turned you, I suppose? It wasn t an ideal
circumstance.
No. When I killed you. The tear that slid down my face surprised me, and I swiped it away. Not
before Cyrus saw, though, and came to my side.
An emotion that would have been sadness if it hadn t held so much relief clouded his face. I heard what
you said to your friend this morning. About me.
I d suspected as much, but I hadn t wanted to discuss it. I didn t intend for you to hear
You don t have to worry about making me a monster. You weren t the one making me a monster when
you lived with me. I chose to behave the way I did. Yes, there were times you hurt me. Particularly when
you stabbed a knife through my heart and sent me to some bizarre purgatory. But you were not so
devastating as to destroy my humanity with your rejection. There wasn t any left to destroy, by the time I
met you.
Unexpected tears sprang to my eyes. I wiped them on the back of my hand. I m not so egotistical that I
thought& Well, I don t know what I thought.
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Nathan screamed, the sound ripping down the hallway and pushing me over the edge. A loud, hiccuping
sob tore from my throat.
Cyrus held out his arms, but didn t embrace me, clearly waiting for me to make the first move. I walked
into his embrace, for the first time not doubting his motives or his humanity, because he was human, he
saw my pain and he wanted to help.
His arms were strong around my back, his face warm where he buried it against my shoulder. If he d
been this honest when he was my sire, I could have fallen in love with him.
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