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If some stay loyal to Onja, can t they just be left in prison? Miranda
suggested.
It would not send a strong enough message. We are trying to show other tribes
that Onja is not a Goddess and that she cannot do anything if her rysmavda are
removed from power, Shan said heavily.
It is so terrible, Miranda murmured.
Leaning closer, Shan gently added, You can help convince them to recant. Most
of the rysmavda are not bad men. Being a priest is an occupation passed down
through their family or they became a priest because it suited their skills.
It is not wrong for them to believe in Onja s power, because she has great
magic, but they must see that they can no longer promote her as a Goddess who
demands tribute.
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Miranda nodded, trying to comprehend everything Shan had said. It seemed to
make sense, but it was hard to think about so many things at once the loyalty
of the Temu, the imprisonment of priests, the impression other tribes would
receive.
Shan, how will I do as you ask? I am not good with the language. I do not
always know the words to use, Miranda said.
I will help you. But the harder part will be speaking in front of so many
people. Most of the city will turn out. Have you ever been in front of so many
people? Shan inquired.
Miranda stiffened. She had not thought about it that way. The only time she
had ever been in front of a crowd of people had been her slave auction in
Ciniva, and that had only been a small crowd. She shuddered and sent away the
terrifying memory.
It frightens most people, but you can get used to it, Shan said.
Thinking of her children, Miranda said, I can do it.
If you get afraid, just look to me. I will be there to help you. You have a
week to improve your language skills and I will help you practice. Now,
tonight think about what you want to say, and we will go over it in the
morning. Shan instructed.
With a deep breath Miranda tried to picture herself in front of so many
people, people who were actually listening to her. Thank you for letting me
help. This sounds so important, I hope I can do it right, she said.
Shan started to smile reassuringly but his sculpted lips failed in the attempt
and he turned away from her. Miranda felt that something troubled him, and she
took one of his hands and asked what it was.
His slender blue fingers squeezed her hand lightly. Before you devote
yourself to this cause as my enemies gather, I would confess something to
you, he cautioned softly.
What? she whispered, apprehensive.
I should have acted quicker to help you when you arrived in Jingten. I
should have known Onja would do something terrible. I had no doubt that she
meant to keep your children, but I thought I would have time to get you and
the children out of Jingten. It is my fault you are separated from your
children. I did nothing when I might have, Shan said.
This statement caused no anger in Miranda, and she immediately tried to soothe
Shan. Do not blame yourself. Although I was afraid of Onja, I
chose to stay that first night. Dreibrand tried to get me to leave, but
Esseldan was sick and I thought it was best for him to have the medicine and
be inside. You could not have convinced me to leave, if Dreibrand could not.
I could have tried. I should have tried. Instead, I wasted time sneaking off
to talk with Dreibrand, Shan lamented.
It is easy to find mistakes in the past, Miranda admonished. If you want to
blame yourself for Onja s wickedness, then I forgive you. I know
you did not want this to happen to me, and I do not take back my wish to serve
you. Shan, you are good.
Shan snorted. I no longer can claim to be good, he muttered.
None of us are perfect, Miranda said.
Shan seemed to resist this notion, but finally conceded, True enough.
You are kind to me, Miranda. Let me say that I am sorry the rys have committed
this crime. I feel responsible.
Most of my life has been very unpleasant. I stopped blaming anyone but myself
a long time ago, Miranda explained.
Shan studied her, wondering how bad Miranda s life had been. It surprised him
that Onja s cruelties compared to others in her life.
Any help you give to me will put you in danger, Shan warned.
I am not afraid. I have already been tortured by Onja. Not much else worries
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me, Miranda said.
Although he did not show it, Shan s heart ached when she mentioned the abuse
the Queen had inflicted on her. Know that I will protect you with my magic if
anyone tries to hurt you while you serve me, Shan promised.
Miranda remembered his magic keeping her warm and alive when she neared death,
and it gave her courage knowing he would continue to protect her.
Now go get that cast off, Shan suggested pleasantly.
Miranda hugged him and Shan told her to come back early the next morning.
That night Miranda lay awake thinking about what Shan had assigned her. She
wondered if she really could inspire people to fight a war like
Shan said. She thought about how strange it was that she had run away from war
in Droxy only to find herself plotting a war now. Although she had no
experience in such complicated matters, she resolved to learn. Her heart
steeled itself for the violence ahead.
27~ A Chance to Recant ~
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