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Chippendale.
Her second husband had a great body and all the
right moves except one: Chip swung both ways. He had
a boyfriend. One of the yacht crew talked too much in
an island bar. He said Marcella caught Chip with his
boyfriend and made a terrible scene.
Shortly after that, Marcella and Chip went on a sail
boat trip to the islands of Exuma in the Bahamas. She
told the police that Husband Number Two had a lot of
wine that evening and must have fallen off the boat dur
ing the night.When she awoke the next morning, he was
gone. She d searched frantically for hours, but there was
no trace of Chip.
A fisherman found the body two days later. Chip s
zipper was open. That detail seemed to confirm her
story. A lot of drowned men get pulled out of the water
in that condition. Late at night, a drunk takes a whiz off
Murder with Reservations ] 157
the side of the boat, loses his balance in the shifting sea
and falls overboard. He can t catch up with the boat.The
guy drowns, cursing his own stupidity.
The police had heard the rumors and questioned
the crew member who d supposedly witnessed the fight,
but he denied it ever happened. The coroner ruled the
death accidental. The suddenly tight-lipped crew mem
ber started his own charter boat company after the
inquest.
What happened to Chip s boyfriend? Helen said.
He disappeared, Phil said.
Did he die, too? Helen said.
Don t know, Phil said. He was a drifter. If he was
smart, he took off.
The Jeep s lights cut through the swirling night mist.
Helen noticed the streets were narrower and lined with
candy-colored cottages. Tipsy couples strolled down the
sidewalk, clutching beer bottles and each other.
It s a nice night for a walk on the beach, Phil said.
The ocean had always been a place of infinite possi
bility for them. Helen had first kissed Phil on the water
after a wild boat chase. She d rescued him from drown
ing, and he d saved her from the police with a kiss. They
had sealed their love on the beach.
Phil parked the Jeep at a shuttered T-shirt shop. Helen
slipped off her shoes and rolled up her jeans for a walk
on the sand. The beach felt cold and wet under her bare
feet. The sand was sprinkled with sharp broken shells.
The waves rushing over her feet chilled her. So did their
endless shushing sound. Usually Helen found the water
soothing. Tonight it unsettled her. What was it like to be
lost in that limitless blackness, to feel your body grow
colder and heavier as you choked on the water that
would soon kill you? Helen shivered.
Phil put his arm around her. Do you really want to
hear the rest of this? he said.
She nodded.
Husband Number Three was a member of the yacht
158 ] Elaine Viets
crew. He was another empty-headed stud fifteen years
younger than Marcella.
She was making up for her time with the liver-
spotted old man, Helen said.
She was nearly forty now, Phil said. You d think
this husband would have learned. But men always
thought they were smarter than Marcella until it was too
late. Gossip says she caught this one with an island cutie,
but nobody would say anything on the record.
Any new charter businesses start up suddenly?
Helen said. She stepped over an eyeless fish rotting on
the cold sand.
Not that I know of, Phil said. Two days after Mar
cella supposedly caught her third husband in bed with
another woman, he ate some bad seafood and died in
agony. The island police didn t investigate his death too
carefully. He was seen eating three lobsters that night
in a restaurant in the capital of Georgetown. Two other
lobster lovers at the restaurant were also sick, but they
survived.
Did Marcella have lobster?
No, she ate steak, the most expensive thing on any
island menu. Marcella was once more a widow. After
the inquest, she buried her handsome young husband
at sea.
What if I d had the chance to kill Rob two days after
I caught him with Sandy? Helen wondered.
The man would be dead meat, the divorced devil-
wife said.
You had a chance to kill him when you found him,
her good angel said. All you did was murder his SUV.
Helen kept those thoughts to herself. She stepped
carefully around the beach trash. Seaweed decorated
with busted balloons and lemon halves wrapped in yel
low net were strung along the sand. Cruise ship debris,
jettisoned illegally.
Marcella was fifty-two when she met her fourth
husband at a bar in the Caymans, Phil said. That wed
Murder with Reservations ] 159
ding nearly equaled Madonna s extravaganza with Sean
Penn. The ceremony was in a pavilion by the sea deco
rated with ten thousand pink roses. Her off-white gown
had a fifteen-foot train embroidered with seed pearls.
Where did you get that information? Helen said.
People magazine, Phil said. The wedding cost
nearly a million dollars. Two years later, the groom
drowned in a diving accident off the island of St. Chris
topher. Defective air tank. Some island dive operations
aren t the safest. Her fourth husband was only thirty.
The investigation found nothing unusual, and Marcella
seemed to have no known reason to kill him. But the
police think she did, just the same.
And the fifth husband? Helen said.
He died in the Bahamas on that fatal sailboat, Phil
said.
She repeated herself, Helen said. That s hardly
original.
Husband Number Five didn t come up with an origi
nal sin. He was a bodybuilding champ who cheated on
Marcella with a sixteen-year-old Nassau girl. He told the
girl the rich old bag he married was so grateful, he could
do anything.
Ouch, Helen said. How did Marcella find that out?
The young woman got pregnant and her mother
told Marcella.
Let me guess, Helen said. The child is now going
to Harvard.
The boy was well provided for, Phil said. Marcella
was generous and forgiving. She had a very public rec
onciliation with her fifth husband on Bay Street. It was
so touching, tourists and locals alike applauded them.
The couple sailed for a second honeymoon on that teak
boat. Marcella wanted to picnic on a remote island, just
the two of them. The cook packed a basket with caviar,
lobster and champagne.
You d think her husbands would watch out for that
lobster, Helen said.
160 ] Elaine Viets
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